Thursday, June 26, 2014

You see it in their expressions.  It's that blank stare as if you are talking a foreign language that they have never been exposed to before.  Who are they?  They're the "non-travelers".  Now, if you are here reading this, chances are you are not one of them.  Not that there is anything wrong with them.

Neither of my parents travel.  In fact, my father has only been on one airplane flight in his entire life.  I'm sure they're thinking to themselves, "Now why would he want to go off and fly half way around the world?  What's fun about that?"

In reality, it's just like anything else.  I personally can't understand why anyone would stay in a non-lit, smoke-ridden, clock-less casino gambling for hours on end.  I have no concept of why people enjoy hitting golf balls around an artificially created environment other than the single appreciation that no matter how bad a place is, the local golf course will have some semblance of nature.

Now not all of the "non-travelers" think we are two slices short of a full pizza pie and should be seeking treatment.  Some of them might actually, secretly desire to travel too but they are locked down by "the fear".

The fear...you can almost visualize it playing out various scenarios in their mind.  There they are, at some foreign airport and they've....oh-my-God....missed their connection!!!  Here's the gruesome scene (we'll call the non-travelers "NTs" for short):

Foreign Airline Attendant (FAA):  "I'm sorry sir, but you've missed your flight."

NT:  "It wasn't my fault, the last airplane just sat on the tarmac FOREVER!!!"

FAA:  "Your last flight wasn't an affiliated partner of our alliance, sir."

NT:  "No, you don't understand, they said they were doing a safety check...for two hours.  That's why we were late."

FAA:  "Did you fill out an IS-4034 form at your local consulate before flying?"

NT:  "Huh?  What?  I don't know what you are talking about."

FAA:  "I'm afraid, without the form or a legitimate flight on our airline alliance, you must stay in our holding room forever."

NT:  "Forever?  But I have a passport.  I'm a US Citizen!"

FAA:  "No sir, you are stuck in between.  There is no going forward.  There is no going back"

NT:  "Aaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!"

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