Sunday, September 21, 2014

You know all those confiscated items the airport security would put on display and you'd think "what idiot would bring THAT through airport security!".  Well, that idiot would be me apparently.

I was in San Francisco, California for a quick visit and happened to be in Chinatown.  I thought it would be nice to call home and see if I should pick up anything while I was there.

Chinatown San Francisco...without the several thousand tourists in the street

"Hi, honey.  I'm here in Chinatown.  Do you need anything."

"Can you pick me up a meat cleaver?  I hear they're really good there."

So I ask and find the nearest place that might sell such things. Sure enough, they had a wide selection of meat cleavers.  The lady at the counter asks me if I want one that cuts through bone.

"Do you want one that cuts through bone?" I ask as I called back home.

"No, we don't need that." she replies.

She was right.  In Asia they don't really cut up a chicken like they do in Western Civilization.  They pretty much cut it however and so when you are there, you need to be very careful how you eat chicken as there will be bones in potentially every bite.

This is perfectly acceptable in Asia...
But my wife wasn't Asian and we didn't eat chicken Asian style so it wasn't a necessity to have one that cut through the bone.

So I bought the meat cleaver and the lady wrapped it up in paper and then put it in a bag.

I continued on with my touring around China Town and the lower downtown area before heading to the airport.

Now this was pre-9/11 and at that time I ALWAYS did carry on.  So it just didn't occur to me when I went through the security and put my bag through the scanner that anything was wrong.

Airport Security...without the thousands of tourists in line
The scanner guy looked at his monitor, brought somebody else over and they both stared at the monitor and then back at me.  They looked at me a bit perplexed and then one of them asks...

"Sir, is that a meat cleaver in that bag?"

At this point I'd realized what I had done but I quickly smiled and retorted back...

"Well yes, but it doesn't cut through the bone!"

They failed to see the humor in my response and needless to say I had to ship the cleaver back home.

Had this been post 9/11, not only would they have confiscated my precious cooking utensil but I'd probably be writing this from some "room", still quarantined by airport security.


  1. And here I was thinking I was a bad ass for taking my mini-bottle of hand sanitizer through security without putting it in a clear plastic bag. I'm such an amateur.

  2. i am woody - Hand sanitizer? You rebel, you! You should one-up me and bring an AK47 through the scanner for fun...